I got Conner Cuddles tonight.
Ever since Conner was about two, he's had this way of cuddling. He sticks his left thumb in his mouth, and with his right hand he rub/pats me. He has several favorite places to rub. They are a bit unusual -- but they are, according to Conner, the softest skin. The skin between my thumb and forefinger, my eyelid, my ear, the skin under my chin, or (when I was pregnant, especially) my belly button.
To be honest, this cuddling has often been a little bit uncomfortable for me. Just kind of weird -- and let's face it, anytime a preschooler has their hand anywhere near your eyeball it's a bit scary. It's been more work than I care to admit, but I've learned to love those strange little cuddles. (All but the belly button ones, that is. I really don't like those very much!) I've known since the time that they started that uncomfortable as they may be, someday I would miss them.
Well, Saturday will be one month since Conner stopped sucking his thumb. It's been hard work for him, he's been going to sleep with his hands trapped between his legs or underneath his bottom so that his thumb won't wander into his mouth. But going to sleep this way means that I don't get my cuddles. And I didn't realize how much I was missing them until tonight.
Tonight, Conner was having a bit of a hard time going to sleep. I was lying in bed next to him, he was turned away from me with both hands underneath his tummy. After a few minutes of tossing and turning, I decided to just go. As I got up though, he said, "Please stay Mommy. Let me cuddle with you for just one more minute." How could I resist that? And then he rolled over and started rubbing my ear with both hands.
I know, I know...it sounds so strange. But after tossing and turning for awhile, he was asleep less than a minute after he started rubbing my ear. It was beautiful. I think he'd been missing them too. I unashamedly admit that I soaked those strange little cuddles right up. I miss them, and he totally made my day by giving me that gift.