Monday, February 9, 2009

Lord, I'm Done

I took Josiah to the doctor today. Gammie came to watch Conner and Micah for us. Bret was in no shape to look after sick kids. Thank you, Gammie, thank you.

Joey's been on antibiotic for a week now, and his ears looked like he'd only had 2 or 3 days worth of meds. Apparently the diarrhea caused by the meds was so much that it kept them from doing much of anything. She prescribed a second round of antibiotic and a pretty strict anti-diarrhea diet and pro-biotic supplement (like vitamins containing the good bacteria that you need in your stomach that the antibiotics sometimes kill along with the bad bacteria). We'll see...

Somewhere in my conversation with the doctor, all of the other sickness we've had came up. She got me to talking about it, and she was quite concerned about Micah. Actually, what she said was, "Wow. You've got a problem."

"Thanks," I thought. "I needed that."

(As a side note, you should know that Micah spent 3 nights in the hospital with dehydration due to a stomach bug when he was 12 months old. It was the same as this -- we passed it around, and the next thing I knew, my baby was very sick. I'm scared to death it's going to happen again...)

She prescribed the same anti-diarrhea diet and supplement for him. He'll go back for his three year check-up next week anyway. Hopefully we'll make it that long and she'll evaulate him again at that point.

I thanked the doctor, gathered up my bag and sick baby, and cried the whole way out to the van. We went to WalMart, hoping to get all the stuff we needed in one stop...there was a three hour wait at the pharmacy. The probiotic supplement (not prescription, but over-the-counter that you have to ask the pharmacist for -- not covered by insurance) was $70. I've lost track of how much I've spent on Tylenol, Motrin, chicken soup, pedialyte, gatorade, Kleenex, crackers, yogurt, Clorox wipes, popsicles, Sprite, etc...

Micah's birthday is tomorrow. We had a small little family party planned, and a Spiderman cupcake-cake in the fridge. I so want this baby to be able to eat cake on his birthday! I hadn't had a chance to wrap his presents yet, and forgot I hadn't hidden his presents well. He found them this afternoon. I felt defeated.

By dinnertime, the prayer on my lips was this:

"Lord, I'm done. I've put my faith in my own abilities, in handwashing and Lysol, in Clorox wipes and bleach, in doctors, and even the help of families and friends. Please forgive me. I'm tired, oh so tired. I can't continue this way. I'm done. Please Lord, bless this house with healing. Give us all good rest tonight, and let us wake up on our way back to normal. Thank you for keeping me well this far, and I plead with you, God, please continue to protect me. Please forgive me for my worry -- there are so many people who are dealing with so much more than this. But this is the reality that is staring me in the face today. You are the mighty healer, Lord. I call on you to heal us with the power only You possess, cleanse us from this hold Satan has on us."

I've prayed over all my boys, I have my alarm set for the next round of meds, I'm going to bed...I'm so very tired...

10 comments:

Heidi said...

I am SO sorry! You let us know if you change your mind about dinner....or maybe instead of bringing dinner I could bring sprite, bananas, bread, mac & cheese...I am trying to think of all the things we could feed Torie when she had this never ending stomach stuff. Just let us know ANYTHING we can do to help alleviate some of the stress....we WANT to help.

The Wiggins family said...

Rachel, we'll be praying especially hard and specifically for you guys. Try to take care of yourself in the midst of all of this too and accept the help of your friends and family. I wish we we close enough to help in some other way.

Heather said...

Oh, Rachel. I'm so sorry. I will pray fervently for quick healing for the boys and good rest for you!

BooBoo said...

Amen and amen to your prayer says a somewhat tearful mom...Hope you (and everyone else) rested well. Love you, baby doll! MOM pfu,wpfy

Lee and Michelle said...

After a sick bout it is awsome to just feel good when you wake up in the morning. Then you are just so thankful for health. Sometimes it takes getting sick for me to realize how awsome just plain health is and not take it for granted.
I don't know why we try to do it in our own strength and then when we are at the end of our rope we finally give it up to God. I do this too often myself. Our great healer has heard our prayers for your family!

Hollie said...

O Rachel, I'm so sad that your going through this! We are ALL lifting your family up in our prayers!

God's placed His hedge of protection over your home, satan's NOT welcome in the Wells' home! I pray that your body stays clear of sickness, rebuke it! So that you can take care of your little ones, yes, that includes Bret ;o)

Love ya girl! Blessings and Love!

Chelsie said...

Hang in there. I will be praying for you and all your boys today. I had a blast with your sister this weekend. She is such a blessing to my life!

Amanda Brooke Kilgore said...

I am sending you hugs and hugs and hugs. Only a mother could truly feel and understand the deep sadness and helplessness you feel. You know it's bad when you cry all the way home from the doc's office, and you lift up a "Lord please help me NOW" prayer!! Truly, I think the worst is past you. With all these new meds and diets, things WILL get better. I am so glad you are in bed and taking care of yourself. That will help you mentally and physically, and you really need both right now. I can hear the deperation in your "voice", and I wish I was closer so I could help as I've been there, and when you've had enough, you've had ENOUGH. I will send up a BIG prayer for you and your sweet sick family.

CB said...

Oh Rachel! Poor Rachel, Poor Babies! You must be so exhausted. I would have cried too. I'll say a prayer for you tonight.

Bret Wells said...

I never cease to be amazed by my girl. You've been running around here taking care of everyone like the Supermom you are. I know its been incredibly hard.

As usual though you handled everything with a grace and compassion beyond what could ever be expected from one person.

And also as usual, you have been Christ to us this week babe.

Now, it looks like we're all going to survive and I pray that tonight God will grant you with the deep restoring rest you deserve.

Thank you Uber-Nurse Mommy!

(and thanks to everyone else who has been lifting up our pathetic gaggle of sickly boys in prayer.)