Conner's Nest

Conner is totally into markers and paper. I don't know if it's a developmental thing or just a Conner thing, but he spends a lot of time at the kitchen table doing art. He colors, he draws, he writes...he colors in coloring books, he writes lists and notes, he copies titles of books, he copies the pictures in books. Some days everything must go on the refrigerator. Some days they end up scattered all over the dining room/kitchen/living room.Some days he lines them up neatly -- and don't you even think about moving them! (Oh, so tempting for Micah...) I cannot tell you how many pieces of paper we go through each day. And no one page can have more than one picture. If he's writing words, often there's only one word (or title) per paper.

And the markers... No one marker can be used twice. Once he is finished with one marker, he lays it on the table and gets another one out. They usually end up in a neat little row...until Micah gets into them, that is! Conner likes crayons, too, but markers are what he truly prefers.

With the paper everywhere (especially after he and Micah have squabbled over it) and the markers everywhere (especially after he and Micah have squabbled over them) and the books that he is coloring in or copying from everywhere (especially after he and Micah have squabbled over them), it's like he's made a comfortable little nest for himself.

He is always very proud of his work. His favorites go on the fridge, or on the counter top by the coffee pot for Daddy to take to his office with him in the morning. Each picture is truly a gift from his sweet little 4 1/2 year old heart.

The bad thing is that there are so many, so many, so many pieces of paper! There is no way that we could keep them all -- and not much need, either. I don't anticipate going through boxes upon boxes upon boxes of old artwork when he's 32. (I hope to be playing with grandkids instead!) So most of them go in the trash. Gosh, confessing that makes me feel so guilty, so mean, like the worst mother ever. (And while I'm confessing things that make me feel guilty, let me just say that the constant mess gets a little old, too...) I do sometimes mail a few to his grandparents and great-grandparents (though not nearly as often as I should...stamps would be eating my lunch!) My very favorites go in a file to keep, his favorites stay on the fridge for a day or two until they have to go away to make room for more. It's a daily thing, as I clean the kitchen and load the dishwasher before I go to bed, I throw away Conner's art. I never throw them away when he's around, and I always fold them over in the trashcan so that he won't accidentally see them the next morning. But I know that the day will come that he will wake up in the morning, pull out his markers, and realize that the art from the day before is gone. And I will have to confess. And he will be upset or mad. And I will feel like the scum of the earth. I hope that day is very far away.

Here's one of my favorite drawings from today. It's a village.

Conner, I love your art, I love how proud you are of it, I love you. I will always treasure this sweet little stage of your childhood...